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lets review:

only new friend i've made in the last 2 years has cancer.

The girl who told me she'd love me forever has already moved on.

I'm stretching to think of a reason to stick around.

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Round one of chemo went okay, but I know that the worst of it is yet to come.

Every day I wake up hoping she will have called, or texted, or really anything to indicate that she misses me. But nothing comes, and each passing day confirms the harsh reality that she just doesn't want me anymore. That means it's time to buck up and take solace in her happiness, even though it's not with me.

Why does this hurt so fucking bad for me, and she is already happy without me?

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"OH by the way i start chemo on thursday...yeah man I have a cancerous tumor in my brain"

I can't deal with this again.

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On a perfect day
I know that I can count on you
When thats not possible
Tell me can you weather a storm
cause I need somebody who will stand by me
Through the good times and the bad times
She would always-always be right there

Sunny days everybody loves them-tell me baby
Can you stand the rain
Storms will come-this we know for sure
Can you stand the rain

Love unconditional
Im not asking just of you
Girl to make it last
Ill do whatever needs to be done
But I need somebody who will stand by me
When its tough she wont run
She would always be right there for me.

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why does it seem that I just can't make my mouth produce the words that I mean. I'm drowning, and it seems that the harder i try to get back to you the more water fills my lungs. If i just give up and don't kick at all, I still sink to the bottom like a stone. I guess its time to accept that I just don't have a place on the surface anymore, and take that watery breath.
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Message recieved loud and clear. Over and out.
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I was reminded today of my own mortality. I'm sorry for saying that to you, but I would rather make an ass of myself now than regret not saying it later.
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It's weird now. Someone who told me she would love me forever doesn't even return my texts. Someone who told me they would be there through good and bad can't even comfort me on a friend level when I realized that I hadn't talked to an actual person since Saturday. I was there for you when you needed me, even though it was while you were working out your feelings for an ex. So, thanks a lot for being there.
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do
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don't
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new kicks
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RIP
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so sick of the bro'd out pileons
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missing leo and home....this has been a lonnngg month
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but thats okay too. all of the kids are out of school....however certain people didn't take out the trash at the beginning of the summer like they should have. They'll probably be stuck with this garbage forever now but thats okay too....because around here we dont' give a shit.

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been working on organizing the closet
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summer is in full effect. this means sk8 sk8 til it gets dark...and barbecues and such. House party at forge road coming up on Saturday to hopefully get summer into full swing....and cookouts at my house to come. HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!

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